I'm Okay

Recently, a particularly hostile conservative — one not familiar with sticks and stones and their legendary efficacy — told me that I was “playing at life, with [my] naps and [my] charities.” He then proceeded to call me a “liberal asshole,” followed by blah, blah, blah I stopped listening.

Wait, what’s wrong with naps? There is a plethora of research to show that productivity in the afternoon increases substantially after spending some time studying the back of your eyelids. There are even studies that show that an afternoon nap is part of our natural circadian rhythm. Don’t fight it!

More confusing… since when is fundraising for charity a bad thing, and since when are conservatives against that? My friends in Rotary are a pretty conservative bunch, but they want to do good works and improve the world. I fail to see how trying to make life better for the less fortunate is frivolous.

Since January 2010, Haiti has suffered through an earthquake, a hurricane, and a cholera outbreak, but they still can’t get enough attention to get the roads fixed. We’re building simple, masonry and wood homes that should withstand the next storm. I haven’t been able to confirm it, but I’ve been told that the homes that Habitat had already built in Haiti withstood the earthquake, and were not among the 190,000 homes damaged or destroyed. I fail to find the negative in that.

Haiti Habitat is not just building homes. They are also coordinating recovery efforts, providing transitional and upgradeable housing, and teaching skills that can help Haitians find work in the recovery economy, where the unemployment rate is 60%. Well, that’s just useless, because… wait, why again? I don’t see where fundraising for Haiti Habitat makes me a bad person.

My friends posit that this person probably settled in his life and is jealous of my choices, lashing out at me to justify his own. I’m okay with my choices — my choice not to have a family, my choice to retire early from my law practice, and my choices to accept challenges to do the things that are the most out-of-character and difficult for me. Last year’s Haiti build was so hard, but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything, not even a week of naps curled up with Yodel in air conditioning. The build in India was excruciating, but I met some of my closest friends there and felt closer to God there than I ever have before or since. Thailand was miserably hot, but I expanded my group of Habitat friends and was proud of our crews for rising to multiple build challenges. Yes, I still wonder why no one needs a CWP in a more temperate clime…

Not to get carried away — going on the Carter Work Projects doesn’t make me anything special, except lucky. But we like to say that even the biggest jerk on the CWP still gave up a week of their life to work hard to make the lives of strangers better. Not the most pithy of sayings, but we like to say it because it makes dealing with difficult people easier. You know that if I didn’t try to deal with difficult people, Mr. Conservative wouldn’t still be my Facebook friend.

One last thing, Mr. Conservative — I ask what could possibly be wrong with playing at life? Doesn’t that totally sound like the best way to do it?

*    *    *    *    *

Here’s another entry from my packing list. I think I got this poem from my friend Lisa’s blog, a long time ago (I miss your blog, Lisa). My hostile conservative friend may not think much of me, but God thinks I’m okay.

God Says Yes To Me

Kaylin Haught

I asked God if it was okay to be melodramatic

and she said yes

I asked her if it was okay to be short

and she said it sure is

I asked her if I could wear nail polish

or not wear nail polish

and she said honey

she calls me that sometimes

she said you can do just exactly

what you want to

Thanks God I said

And is it even okay if I don't paragraph

my letters

Sweetcakes God said

who knows where she picked that up

what I'm telling you is

Yes Yes Yes